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05Nov 13

Recovery Part One

I must apologize for not blogging and kind of leaving you all in the lurch but I have had a busy couple of months which has stopped me from writing more. Anyway, here is something different for you all today… Yes, I know that my posts have so far been “depressing” but I would invalidate my experience if I didn’t talk about the lows and it would also invalidate the experience that a lot of you readers are having or have had.

Ok, back to the recovery part of my post… I can’t pin point a day as such but a series of events which led me to where I was able to stop crying and start doing. It was something that took a lot of time, medication as mentioned previously and patience from those involved… I think my guiding light number one(because I had many), was my male health visitor. yes, I said Male. he was an amazing adn resourceful person who wouldn’t take “NO” for an answer.. and let me tell you, there was a lot of reluctance on my part to do much or to leave the house.

He enrolled me in to things such as baby massage, a PND discussion group and a walking group all within one phone call and one visit. I had only been on the registration of the practice for hours when he called me and came to see me later that day. He was not just a health visitor but one who specialized in perinatal mental health, and someone who could empathize. That was certainly a relief.. someone who didn’t sympathize because I did not want anyone to feel sorry for me as it just led to the self loathing that had begun to build up inside and often consumed me.

When I went a long to the first group at our local family center, I was met with warmth and acceptance. I could say something, just a sentence and a look of understanding would be communicated by almost every parent that was there. I cried because I felt for the first time, a sense of relief and as corny as it sounds, I really felt like things were going to be OK.  It was also a relief that I didn’t have to worry about childcare and that I was going to get the help that I needed but that my baby was only in the next room and if she needed me, the staff would respect my wishes and come through to get me.

For that hour , once a week , I felt like I could see things getting better but knowing that it was a battle still to fight my way through…


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About Coping with postnatal depression…

Hi, my name is Angeline and I am mum to two kids, ages 6 months and 6 yrs. I had postnatal depression with both kids and prenatal depression with one. I have decided to write about my experience in order to help break stigmas relating to perinatal mental health, and actively campaign to see changes to services available for both men and women.

I am open and honest about my experience and, although it was a very dark time in my life, I want people to know that you can overcome this and there is light on those dark days.